Question: I realize many people who post on this site insist that if you don't know whether or not you're a vampire, then you aren't. However, I myself am struggling with that concept right now. I've experienced the following things in my life and was wondering if anyone could help me know what they mean. I've always had a longing I can't explain. Certain places give me an undesirable energy rush and without them I feel a void and a want. I don't know what it is. I just know it makes me feel good, alive (of the things I list, the feeling I get from certain places brings me the strongest satisfaction) Lately I've had some sort of a blood lust as well. A curiosity if you will. It actually looks somewhat appealing to me now, and I don't know why. What does this mean? During my childhood, I was often isolated by other children, and I never knew why. I had a few friends, but not many, and none trust worthy. I made good grades. I was athletic. I'm not strange, I don't dress strange or anything that I could see might distance me from them in the scope of normality. It made me very unhappy. I spent most of the time alone. (I even got involved with a friend who would try and contact spirits. For some reason, this venture into the supernatural attracted me, and still does.) I insisted that I didn't care and yet I had times where I felt like everything was wrong, and I was missing something so vital...but I didn't know what it was. As I grew older I found that any reaction from people felt good to me. I would be purposely silly just to see a reaction, or verbally fight with people just for a reaction. I wouldn't think about it, Id just do it. When other people aren't around, I’m calm and I think. I was not a class clown by any means. Their reaction gives me energy to do it again. I was involved in theatre, and I know some people would think I just like an audience. No. I actually found it all quite boring, and the audience applause did nothing for me. One on one...I can just ...I don’t know what it is. Even if I get no reaction physically, I get a reaction in thought. A blank stare can sometimes be more fulfilling than the loudest laughter. I'm not sure if this makes me a vampire, because I don't even know what others would consider a vampire or if my need for this is great or small compared to the needs of other peoples. I don't know what all this means. Would someone give me their verdict? I'd be much obliged. Thank you
Greetings Alice
A REAL vampire is someone born lacking the ability to create naturally, for themselves, the vital energies necessary to lead what might be considered a "normal" life (at least energy-wise). Because they aren't able to create it within themselves like others, they are able to gather it from outside sources through one or several of many different means. Such as sexual energy, sanguine feedings, empathic, psychic, and elemental...
I would also like to point out that as far feeling energy goes, it isn't just an ability to gather the energy, but rather the NEED for the energy. Many individuals have the ability to sense or "feel" and raise energy (Psychics and Wicca's are two examples). Vampires HAVE to feed from the energies in to stay healthy and balanced.
Listen to your body. You indicate you are sensing energy but how do you feel once you have been exposed to it? If you are feeling more centered, more relaxed, balanced and less hungry you very well maybe an awakening Psi vampire.
If you would like to learn more about vampirism, I suggest reading the various articles and information available on the Vampire Church website www.vampire-church and in the current and back issues of the monthly Vampire Church on-line Zine. In them you will find a wealth of information about the vampiric condition.
I also invite you to sign-up for the pubic e-list hosted by the Vampire Church http://groups.yahoo.com/group/VampireChurch and to attend the public classes held twice weekly (Wednesday and Friday 9PM EST) on the mIRC Undernet on the #vampiretopics channel. Download the program at www.mIRC.com - it's easy to setup and use.
All of these will give you additional information and help you learn more about and better understand vampirism.
Question: Is there such a difference between Psychic Vampirism and Empathic Vampirism? Or is that just a sub-category of the Psychic Vampirism? I would also like to know that what I feel, and what I can do, makes me a Empathic Vampire or a Psychic Vampire.
Answer
Greetings Randy:
Good question. Psy / Psi vampires feed on the ambient energies generated by one or more living beings. Empathic vampires feed directly on the emotional energies of an individual being usually in one on one contact. While they both are similar in that they feed on psychic energies I would not call one a sub-category of the other.
A wonderful paper called Vampirism 101 by council member Belfazaar Ashantison is located in the May 2003 Vampire Church on-line zine. It is a great place to start and will answer many of your basic questions on vampirism types. Link to the zine archives can be found on the Vampire Church main page at www.vampire-church.com
Veritatem dies aperit.
LA. / nodecaf
VC Administrator
VC Council
Mid-Atlantic Vampire Association